Saturday, May 9, 2009
The Blonde and the bull
There were two sisters living in Texas. A blonde and a brunette. The Brunette told her sister to stay home while she went to the coral to by a bull and that she would telegraph her when she was gread for her to bring the trailer.The sister agreed. Well the brunette went to the coral picked out a nice sturdy big bull and had 15 cent left. Went over to the telegrapher and asked how much it was per word. He told her 15 cent per word. She said "Ok i have to think of one word to get my sister to come get me and the bull so i will be back." So she thought for a good long while for a word to get the point across. She figured it out and went back to him and said "okay i know the word".
He said "ok what is it"
she told him "comfortable"
he said "i dont mean to pry but how could that get her to come get you?"
she responded "its ok my sister is a blonde so she will read it really slow like...com....for.....ta....ble"
He said "ok what is it"
she told him "comfortable"
he said "i dont mean to pry but how could that get her to come get you?"
she responded "its ok my sister is a blonde so she will read it really slow like...com....for.....ta....ble"
Amish Girl
One day an amish girl and her mom were going for a ride in the carriage and the little girl said "Momma my hands are could"
"stick them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up"her mother told her.
Well the girl tried it and...it worked. The next day the girl went for a ride with her boyfriend and he ended up staighting "my hands are cold"
The girl responded by saying "stick them between my legs and my body heat will warm them up" He did it and it worked. The next day they were out again together and the boy said" My nose is so cold"
"Well stick it between my legs and my body heat will warm it up"This gave the boy an idea and they went out again the next day. Well the day after that the mom and daughter were riding out riding again and the girl said "Mother, do you know what a penis is?"
The mom hesitated and said "Umm.. yes why?"worried about what her daughter would say.
The daughter responded "They sure make a mess when they thaw out dont they?"
"stick them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up"her mother told her.
Well the girl tried it and...it worked. The next day the girl went for a ride with her boyfriend and he ended up staighting "my hands are cold"
The girl responded by saying "stick them between my legs and my body heat will warm them up" He did it and it worked. The next day they were out again together and the boy said" My nose is so cold"
"Well stick it between my legs and my body heat will warm it up"This gave the boy an idea and they went out again the next day. Well the day after that the mom and daughter were riding out riding again and the girl said "Mother, do you know what a penis is?"
The mom hesitated and said "Umm.. yes why?"worried about what her daughter would say.
The daughter responded "They sure make a mess when they thaw out dont they?"
The Card Game
One night Jack and his wife Jill went over to Joe's house to play some cards. In the middle of a game of bullshit Joe dropped one of his cards. He leaned over to pick it up from under the table and couldn't help but notice Jill wasn't wearing any panties. Well outta shock he hit his head on the table and came up a bit red faced. Jack asked "Are you ok?"
Joe said "Yeah i just need a drink" so he went to the kitchen to get a beer.
Jill followed saying "Im Parched im going to get me a glass of water ill be right back dear" When she got in the kitchen joe tried walking out real fast but she stopped him and said "So did you see anything you liked?"
"Umm.....what are you talking about" joe responded
"Come on I know you saw"she said
"Ok yeah i did something i like"
"Well you can have it if you pay"
Joe thought to himself for a moment then said" Ok how much"
"$100"she declared
He thought again then said "Ok when"
"Friday Jack has to work all day come over after 7am with the money and leave before 6pm you can have your way with me all day.
Come friday "Joe got there at 7am with money in hand like was said. He had his way with her all day long. They went at it everywhere the bed the shower the couch even the kitchen counter.Joe left at 5:55pm. Jack returned home at 6:30 and said"hey honey did joe come by?"
She said "Uhhh yeah why?"
"Did he bring you $100"
"Oh shit he knows i just know it O my god oh my god he knows"she thought to herself then finally responded"Ye-Yeah Why do you ask dear?"
Joe responded"Ok he stopped by the office this morning and asked to borrow $100 said he would stop by and pay us back before he went home"
Joe said "Yeah i just need a drink" so he went to the kitchen to get a beer.
Jill followed saying "Im Parched im going to get me a glass of water ill be right back dear" When she got in the kitchen joe tried walking out real fast but she stopped him and said "So did you see anything you liked?"
"Umm.....what are you talking about" joe responded
"Come on I know you saw"she said
"Ok yeah i did something i like"
"Well you can have it if you pay"
Joe thought to himself for a moment then said" Ok how much"
"$100"she declared
He thought again then said "Ok when"
"Friday Jack has to work all day come over after 7am with the money and leave before 6pm you can have your way with me all day.
Come friday "Joe got there at 7am with money in hand like was said. He had his way with her all day long. They went at it everywhere the bed the shower the couch even the kitchen counter.Joe left at 5:55pm. Jack returned home at 6:30 and said"hey honey did joe come by?"
She said "Uhhh yeah why?"
"Did he bring you $100"
"Oh shit he knows i just know it O my god oh my god he knows"she thought to herself then finally responded"Ye-Yeah Why do you ask dear?"
Joe responded"Ok he stopped by the office this morning and asked to borrow $100 said he would stop by and pay us back before he went home"
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